


Takeda's (Nearly) Perfect Boyfriend

by boredom



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Humor, M/M, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 12:54:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12682314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredom/pseuds/boredom
Summary: Ukai is really the perfect boyfriend. He's sweet, thoughtful, mature, passionate. There's just one teeny tiny, little thing that he's not very good at, and Takeda wants to solve that.





	Takeda's (Nearly) Perfect Boyfriend

Out of all the words to describe Ukai, “domestic” and “nearly-perfect boyfriend” were not the two that Takeda would use. Not that he thought Ukai would be a bad romantic partner, if he thought that he wouldn’t be dating the man. But Ukai gave off a sort of delinquent vibe, a devil-may care attitude that made him seem very cool and aloof. Sure, he could be passionate about things, those things mostly relating to volleyball and beating some of his own rivals, but overall Takeda was surprised at how domestic Ukai acted. It was honestly kind of nice to be with a man who didn’t subscribe to traditional gender roles even though he was in a relationship with another man (yes, several of Takeda’s past boyfriends had tried to convince him that he should be the one doing all of the cooking and cleaning because he was smaller and more feminine looking. College-aged Takeda really needed to have a better sense of self).

Ukai was almost constantly surprising him with little gifts, like a few fresh flowers that had caught his eye, or a fresh cup of coffee given to him when he had stayed up late grading papers. Ukai also regularly cooked and cleaned as well. He’d usually get up earlier than Takeda on the weekend and make breakfast for the both of them, and not some wimpy microwave waffles or something, but a real Japanese-style breakfast with rice, omelets, fish and all sorts of other delicacies. He didn’t need to be asked to take out the trash, or change burnt out light-bulbs, or pick up more rat traps from the store, he just did these things.

Of course, Takeda was also responsible in this relationship and didn’t take Ukai’s uncharacteristic maturity for granted. During the week, while Ukai was out picking beans Takeda would make breakfast for the both of them, and he also made both their lunches since Ukai would eat microwave burritos at the store if someone else didn’t make lunch for him (he said he was nearly-perfect, not perfect, okay!). Takeda also was in charge of the laundry, mostly because Ukai couldn’t seem to get the hang of the iron, burning several of Takeda’s shirts every time he tried to smooth out wrinkles. 

So yes, overall, Takeda thought Ukai was almost perfect, certainly much better than any of the other boyfriends he had had. There was just one problem.

“He’s so bad in bed!” He wailed as he downed another beer. He went out drinking with some of the other teachers from school and when Ito had asked how his relationship with the ‘hot volleyball coach’ as he had put it, was going. Takeda couldn’t hold it in any longer.

Every time they had sex, hell, every time they kissed, Ukai was just so bad at it! The first time, Takeda had just assumed he was nervous. Who wouldn’t be considering they worked together and if this whole thing went pear-shaped the kids would suffer? But time after time it was like Ukai didn’t know what to do with his tongue, always shoving it too far down Takeda’s throat and always clinking their teeth together. Takeda had hoped that he would be better in bed. He was not. He never hurt Takeda, which was good, but when Takeda was on the bottom, Ukai just kind of kept ramming it in until he came; Takeda would then lie and say he had excellent stamina, which is why he always came last. And when he was on top, Ukai just lay there like an extra warm and squishy blow-up doll. 

“Is he a virgin?” Ito asked, taking another swig of his beer.

Takeda glared at him. 

“I mean, has he been with any other partners?” 

He shrugged. “Yeah, a few others. There’s not really a lot of people to have sex with in this town though.”

“Have you talked to him about it? Let him know what’s going on?”

Takeda groaned and buried his face in his hands. “How is that conversation supposed to go? ‘Remember we’re out of milk and also you suck at sex’? I don’t want to humiliate him.”

“Well, sex isn’t everything in a relationship. Maybe as time goes on he’ll get better.” Ito shrugged.

“I know sex isn’t everything in a relationship, we tell that to these horny teenagers every other day. But is it so bad to want to actually enjoy sex and not keep making up excuses not to have it?”

Ito tapped his fingers on the table. “Well, he ain’t gonna change if you don’t confront him about it. So either suck it up or buy a book.”

Takeda perked up. That’s right, he’s a teacher, he can teach Ukai how to have sex! And with the internet, he can order tons of books on the subject, study them in secret, and then trick Ukai into practicing! He didn’t have to tell Ukai that he was bad in bed at all! He could just stealthily teach him, maybe even frame it as a curiosity of Takeda’s, like that time he convinced him to try intermittent fasting (Ukai was not a fan of skipping breakfast as Takeda then found out). He nodded his head and threw some bills on the counter. He had books to order.

oOoOoOo

As it turns out, there were lots of books on the subject of improving one’s sex life. Takeda wondered if he should just order the ones for gay sex or if he should also order some for heterosexual sex. Of course, the Kama Sutra was included in the order (he was always curious what the book held). There were also titles like “Sex Tips for Dummies” and “How to improve your sex life”. He also bookmarked several websites on his computer to expand his knowledge as much as possible. 

He was a little worried how this would all go over with Ukai, though. He still hadn’t told his boyfriend about his feelings towards the subject and was wondering if he should soon. Of course, he didn’t want to embarrass Ukai, or start an argument, or seem like sex was the only thing he cared about in a relationship. He didn’t want to seem shallow. 

Instead, he continued to tell himself that this was the best thing for both men. After all, Takeda was going to learn a thing or two about this topic, so it shouldn’t be that big of a deal.

“Um, Ittetsu?” Ukai called from the other room.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you order a bunch of sex books from Amazon?”

Takeda’s heart plummeted to his stomach. He never thought that Ukai would actually open his package! He didn’t plan for that. He would have been more angry at the man but he had opened a few of Ukai’s letters and packages from time to time and he hadn’t told Ukai to keep his paws off any boxes that would be arriving the next few days.

“Ittestu?” Ukai walked into the room with a rather large book in his hands. The cover had to men, clearly moaning loudly and the words “Becoming a Sex God! Make Him Orgasm Like Never Before” emblazoned across the cover.

Takeda’s face turned bright red and he buried his head in his hands. What the hell was he supposed to tell Ukai now? He felt the couch dip beside him.

“Is there something you’d like to tell me?” Ukai sounded like he was on the verge of laughing. It made Takeda feel better about ordering the books, but didn’t make him feel any better about being humiliated and found out. 

“Is this a subtle way of you telling me that you’re getting a bit bored with our sex life?” Ukai’s voice was right next to his ear, his breath tickling him slightly. Good God he wished this man was as good at fucking as he was with teasing. No wonder Takeda was almost constantly disappointed, the way Ukai could wind him up was remarkable and took a lot of skill. 

“Um, I mean, we basically do the same thing every time. I thought maybe I could...surprise you with something new.” Takeda managed to squeak out. Hopefully Ukai would buy it and let him get back to studying this topic in peace.

Ukai tugged his hands away from his face. “Why didn’t you just tell me? I’m not fifteen anymore, I can handle a bit of critique.” 

Well that was unexpected. “I didn’t want to embarrass you or make it seem like I only cared about sex in a relationship. Honestly, if this doesn’t work, it’s not the end of the world.” Takeda sighed, leaning back.

“Good that you realize this. Next time, though, just talk to me. Remember, we’re in a relationship, we’re supposed to communicate and tell each other how we’re feeling.”

Takeda smiled at him and clasped their hands together. “You really are the perfect partner, you know that?”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Ukai was reading the back cover which described some of the points the book went over. “So, how many of these did you order?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Holy shit! Am I really that bad in bed?”

Takeda blushed again. “No, I just wanted to make sure I was covering all my bases. I mean, there’s a book on how to love like an Italian, a Frenchman, how to be a Latin lover, of course the Kama Sutra--”

Ukai cut him off with a kiss. Just a peck on the lips though, so Takeda didn’t have to deal with a tongue being shoved down his throat. “I’ll start with this one. You pick out another. We’ll meet back up in an hour.”

Takeda nodded and sprinted to the kitchen to pick out a book. He couldn’t wait for the hour to be up.

oOoOoOo

“That was amazing!” Takeda panted as he rolled off of Ukai and back to his side of the bed. 

“Who knew an hour of study could really improve...everything so much!” Ukai was also panting heavily, bright red and covered in sweat. “Fuck, I’m not going to be able to walk tomorrow.”

“You’re telling me. I don’t think I can walk now.”

“Do you think it can get any better?”

Takeda paused for a second. He had only done about half of the things he had learned in his first book. Before he moved on to the second one, he really ought to try out all of the techniques so he could be sure he knew exactly what he was doing. 

“Practice makes perfect.” He grabbed Ukai’s shoulders and pulled him on top to start round two. Ukai kissed him, he still wasn’t great at that, but Takeda had bought a book or two (or three) on kissing techniques. They could work on that next. Right now, he wanted to see just how strong Ukai’s arms and shoulders really were.


End file.
